Nov 7, 2010

I don't know if I miss..

I don't know if I miss something..
If yes, I don't know what..??? :S

But I know, I always search for
something in inbox..
something in blogs..
something in facebook..
something in my thoughts..

Wait a minute..
Or am I searching for someone..?
Someone's existence in my life..
If yes, I don't know whom..? 

Oct 31, 2010

The Perfect Dream!

Everything was perfect..

I was in a whole new world of peace & serenity..
In the arms of my perfect man!
Drenching in the first rain of summer..
Kissing each other wildly..!!

Suddenly, it became so dark..
With howling wind & pounding rain..
Felt as if I was slipping out of his hands..
Into the avalanche of life..

When I opened eyes, I was in a very familiar room
With an old oil painting on the wall..
Lying on a faded bed sheet, with an unknown man..
But people call him my HUSBAND..

Life is not perfect.. & you won't get the perfect man..
All these can happen only in a "Perfect Dream"..!

Oct 30, 2010

Life @ Crossroads!

No one wants me to be me,
They all want me to be the person they want..
I'm not like every other girl,
Who waits for a love filled ending..! 

My roads are different,
They may not intersect with yours..
Leave me at this cross roads,
I don't want you to loose your track..!

Lemme travel alone..
To the unknown destiny.. 
To the unknown world..
Where I believe someone is waiting..!!

Oct 28, 2010

Double Life!

I'm living a double life..! 

A life of my dreams.. and,
A life of HIS dreams.. 

A life as the little girl of my family.. and,
A life as the secret woman of HIS life..

A life of happiness, hope & love.. and,
A life of despair, pain & suffering.. 

I'm living a double life...
A life of my dreams.. & a life of HIS dreams..

Sep 15, 2010

Pride of Australia

Today I'm double happy!! Not because something great happened with me, but I'm so excited about the success of two people I know from totally different walks of life! Gary Lee & Marita Cheng are the two people who received the 'Pride of Australia' award yesterday! 

Gary Lee, won the "Pride of Australia" award in the 'Fair Go' category. He is working as the International Student & Youth Project Officer at City of Melbourne. I work under Gary as a volunteer for InterCoM activities. InterCoM is a committee of young people made up of local and international students as well as staff from various organizations.

Marita Cheng, won the award in the 'Young Leader' category. She is a student at University of Melbourne doing double degree in Mechatronics Engineering & Computer Science. She is also a young entrepreneur of age 20 and the founder of 'not-for-profit' organization called "Robogals". I met her through UoM & RMIT Google Geek Girls Coffee Club.

Now, you must be thinking, why I'm so happy about this news.. Well, they gives me an inspiration to do something better, something more..!! And that inspiration keeps me going! I thought it's worth to share the news about these people around me who are really making a big difference in the society through their little deeds! :)

Aug 7, 2010

New Insights

It has been a while I didn't post anything seriously.. It wasn't because I was busy, I am such a lazy goose.. :)

Today, I attended a training session by Mr. Gary Ryan, of "Organizations That Matter" on "Personal Vision & Values". It started off like any other workshop, but some of the activities in the session were more than enough for me to have sleepless nights.. There weren't any technical questions, but some simple questions about life.. And I realized, I don't have any answers for such questions.. :(

I do got a BIG plan for my life.. But am I missing some "ME" time in the schedule I made..? Time for a review.. :)

Hope the insights he provided, would give me another chance to revive my ideas & plans..! 

Jul 7, 2010


Read an article in Mathrubhumi today.. The same thing is gonna happen in India during the Common Wealth Games!

Jun 11, 2010

I Believe

I believe in angels, aliens & all the invisible souls around me!
I believe in almost everything that normal persons think isn't real!

I believe in dreams, the ones that never would come true!
I believe in hope, &I believe in destiny..
I believe in immortality, and everyone can be immortal..

I believe that time will make things right &
I'll be always a perfect ME, as all others..

I still believe in everything, because belief is my strength!

Jun 8, 2010

Afraid to be Naked

I'm afraid to be naked..
I'm afraid to be exposed..
I'm afraid to look at myself in the mirror,
and acknowledge who I am!

There's a person I've built,
the way I want to be perceived,
the mask I want everyone to see..
I'm afraid to look in the mirror,
and to find how people really see me!

I edit everything I say & everything I do..
I want world to see me how I want to be seen..
So I just blur the truth..
I can't let myself be revealed for who I am!

I can't let you get close..
I won't let you get close..
I'm afraid to be naked..!

Jun 5, 2010

Between Words

Words are my passion..
Just like blood through my vein,
Every time they slip out,
The page gets so stained..

Between words, I can feel a new "ME",
Between words, I can find who I used to be..
Between words, sometimes I get caught..
And never returns back..

Jun 3, 2010


 I feel trapped inside a woman's body..
I don't think it's mine...
And I don't whose body is this..
Who am I?? Can you tell me..? :)

Jun 1, 2010


Loneliness has never felt this way before..
I don't know how long I've been staring at this book..
I shut it, but I know what I left behind...
Something that used to occupy every inch of my mind..

Now the only thing left with me is....

          p                             s
    m       t                     s       .
E                 i         e                .
                         n                        .

Emptiness is finding a new meaning here..
& I'm enjoying it..!

May 10, 2010

Should I give myself a new chance?

I know it has been a while I didn't post anything. Got busy with uni work.

I can't really figure out when  blogspot became my emotional outlet. I was browsing through my old posts in different blogs, I can't help but laugh and realize new things in life. I found it stupid (my journal entries). Yes, stupid! I can deeply say that I was emotionally stressed at that time and I'm not wrong to say that, "I know, one day, all these entries of mine will be just an amazing memory and chapter. One day, I'll find a way to laugh it all up and realize how things can be a bit different from what I used to be". -- Now, I can see myself laughing so hard about my rants I made once. I wanted to delete those entries at first, but I can't because I know, it would always be a part of me, though. Those times were hard as rock, believe me and I am just so happy that I learned to get over with those things. Its true that, sometimes, all we need is time to be a much better person than what we are now!

Initially, my mind was full of uncertainty and doubts and as days pass through, in some ways, I realized things are better this way. Those emotional and excess baggage I've been keeping to myself for so long, finally, I learned to let it all out and its great to see how good life can be. There are things in life that we can only learn through experiences. I gained so much lessons in life that I'll be holding through after all. I want to give extra space to the new chapter and let my doors be open for something that is worthy! :-)

Apr 18, 2010

Family Picnic

Today I went to see the famous Penguin Parade at Phillip Island with my family. This event is pretty famous, as there isn't too many places you can go in the world to see penguins.

We reached around 4:30PM after 2 hour drive from Melbourne. The expected time for the Penguin Parade was 6:30PM.. So after taking the tickets to see the Penguin Parade, we decided to visit the The Nobbies & Seal Rock near by. The cliffs and dunes around The Nobbies were spectacular. 

The wind was fierce and whipping up the ocean like nobody's business, and I got some pretty good shots of ocean surf crashing against the rocks. 

We even spied a lone penguin lounging at the entrance to its burrow. So cute!

At 5:30PM we head back to the other end of the island to experience the Penguin Parade. What an aptly-named attraction! Phillip Island's penguin colony claims to be Australia's most famous natural attraction, the world's smallest species of penguin and the only species found in Australia. The birds live in large colonies and they nest in the sand dunes, digging out burrows for themselves under the roots of the dune vegetation. Each morning the birds head out to sea to fish, and return each evening just after dusk. It was this "parade" in from the water that we had come to see.

A boardwalk led from the visitors centre out to the viewing platforms, and we marched out there along with a whole pile of other people to take our places on the beach and to wait for the birds to arrive.

It was nice weather when compared to other days except the chilling ocean breeze. We sat in a roped off area just above the beach at sundown and waited for the hundreds of little penguins come jetting out of the surf and start waddling up onto the beach. These hundreds of penguins, smartly dressed up in their tuxedos, marching along to the beach is really a great attraction to anyone.

I have no pictures of this magical event, or anything else from the evening, because there was a strict no camera policy enforced by the park rangers. The penguins are very sensitive to bright lights, and the camera flashes would upset them greatly - even to the point of driving them back into the water or leading them to abandon the colony! And since it is utterly impossible to regulate the use of flash photography, the centre had gone one step further and just banned photography altogether.

We raced up to the boardwalk, and the penguins were all around us! Baby ones coming out of their little holes in the hills to greet their parents, a couple having arguments, some just standing there being adorable. We were not allowed to take pictures, not allowed to touch, we just followed the penguins quietly as they made their way up the hill, overwhelmed by the cuteness of it all, wishing we could put one in our pockets and run away with it.

Since we were not allowed to take photos of these lil ones, I'm just posting the Penguin Parade photo I found on Google. Pretty much exactly what we saw!

Before closing this post, I'm posting a funny notice board I found at the car park!

And the stupid me had looked to make sure that no lil penguin is lost under our car before leaving the island!!!

Apr 15, 2010


Festivals are always incomplete without family & friends together.. This is the first time I'm away from home for Vishu & the day just passed like any other day..!! Home-Uni-Home.. Thats all..!! There was no celebration or sense of happiness..!

Saw the only one Malayalee friend @ Uni.. The wishes we passed were the only good thing happened today..!! Felt sad, as he said he & his girl friend was going to have Vishu Sadya @  a friend's place.. I  missed my Vishu lunch @ home..

This is life..!! Not all the things in life can be kept forever..!!
I wish no more days be like this..!!

On Vishu
Apr 15, 2010

Aham Brahmasmi

'Aham Brahmasmi' ~ Two words with so much meaning!

I saw this on Mahesh's blog. Happened to hear about him through a friend's FB status update. regarding his suicide..! Mahesh Mahadevan, 23 years, was a Ph. D student @ the University of California. I was going through his literary works at 'Stumble Upon' & 'Blogspot'. Once you enter into his writings, you can easily sense the talent he posses.. I really feel sorry for him. There was really a long way for him to go... But for some reason, he just suddenly stopped your life..!

Copy pasting the last note he posted on his blog before committing suicide..
Tried to find the meaning between the words.. But no clue! 

My stream of thought drains

Created Apr 10
Schadenfreude - the term doesn't really apply when you laugh at your own misery, does it?
The one time you take the huge leap of faith and expect your system (that works too well otherwise) to simply work, it doesn't. If I can laugh at that, I have reached (going by German word synthesis, also called in German as germanwordsynthesis (if you get the drift)), selbstschadenfreude (now I might have jumped the gun on the rules of German word synthesis, but there's only so much a man can do for now).
Nevertheless, a tear in my eye gleams at the radiance of this beautiful line that (henceforth) gets preserved here: I am your clouds; you are my sea, I love you, and forever we shall be!

Miss would be a thoroughly insufficient (note the irony) verb to describe what I feel, oh heaven-sent blot of color that made the canvas of my life what it is today! Nevertheless...

And with that, I was not ashamed, but now as quick as I appeared, and played this lovely game, I must now depart, as quickly as I came. I bid you farewell, for you were simply lovely. Now fly towards your new love, like a flock of dovely(s).
We are now separated, but not forever.

Dear Mahesh,
May your soul rest in peace!
May your family & friends have enough strength to go through these days!

Apr 14, 2010

Six Thinking Hats!!

Here comes the new post!

Just back after attending the LEAD leadership training program. Today's workshop was all about 'How to make effective decisions in life..?' The three hour workshop was conducted by the RMIT Student Counselors for 13 of us..

The workshop mainly focused on Edward de Bono's lateral thinking style. This method is popularly known as 'Six Thinking Hats' & was initially developed in 1980. The six hats represent six modes of thinking and are directions to think rather than labels for thinking. That is, the hats are used proactively rather than reactively.

The idea is simple. Each time you wear an imaginary hat, you switch your thinking style in accordance to the hat you are wearing. When you change the hat, you change your mind..!

After collecting all sorts of information wearing each hat, you make a decision wearing the blue hat.. [Can make a decision without wearing that too..! ;) ]

To know more about the Six Thinking Hats, click here
I'm sure, you are gonna check it out..!

Thatz all for now.. Not sure I am gonna use this again!
Just scribbling down.. Who knows if one day I want make an "effective" decision! :D
So signing off.. Already late for the Database Class.. :)

Apr 12, 2010

And finally its done!!

Sigghhhh!! Finally I completed the Java programming assignment..

Just a small java program to control the movements of a robot. The robot has to move the blocks of varying size from a source pile to the target pile, without touching the obstacles with different heights in between. I was struggling with this assignment for the past 10 days... And finally its done..!!

In fact it is not completed to the full scope. I stopped it when I covered the basic requirements in the assignment spec! Not investing too much time to get the extra 10 points apart from the assignment score 60 points. I think I am doing something good to myself by stopping my work at the right time. I should make my time available for other subjects too..!

Don't want to repeat my past again! Sometimes running for perfection costs too much.. That's what happened with me in my previous role as a Business Analyst. Always tried to bring perfection in my work & finally I was screwed up!

So now, I'm changed..! And here is my new mantra : "Strive for perfection, but know when to settle!"

Jan 14, 2010

Life is Good

Sometimes I wonder: what am I?
I look at the stars and feel very small;
just a tiny consciousness.
But if I were as tall as a planet,
I would still be short in comparison to the universe.

I see a person twice my size
and I feel weak and fragile.
But if I were strong and powerful,
I would still not be invincible.

I see a painting by the hand of a genius,
and I feel inexperienced and ignorant.
But if I were the greatest artist alive,
it would not make me love what I do any more or less.

I see blood, running from the wound of another,
and I feel a chilling fear from deep within.
But if I walked this earth with bravery,
it would not make things less dangerous.

I see a baby, innocent and naive,
and I feel cynical and jaded.
But if I saw through untainted eyes all my life,
it would not make the world a better place.

I see a raindrop, tear of the sky,
and I feel ugly and unsightly.
But if I were as beautiful as rain,
it would not make me crystal clear inside.

There are children with cancer,
mothers who lose their babies,
people who are worse off than dead.

I wonder if I am just lucky or if the world was cruel.
But even if the world was kind or if I were dying, too,
there would still be suffering.

I weep all night, I get nightmares,
I lose myself thinking of such things.
But even if I could right every wrong,
if I could run faster or jump higher or be stronger,
it would not make me better or happier.

With what I have, I'll do what I like
and like what I do.
Life is good!